When Calls The Heart

I love a cheesy show. I love all the bad things ending with a happy ending and it’s one of my guilty pleasures along with musicals, pride and prejudice and The Godfather films. Last night in North America, the TV programme “When Calls The Heart” aired the season finale. One of the main characters died. I am a geek and love following the stars on Social Media. The abuse and vitriol thrown at these people because of what happened on the show is incredible.

Now I can understand getting sucked into a programme so much that you feel it’s real life – I did it with The West Wing, when Zoe Bartlett was captured. I was expecting BBC News to give an update! That taught me so much.

I have a few shows that have pulled me in  so much that I have the DVD box sets – Friends, The West Wing, Brothers & Sisters and Rizzoli & Isles. But never would I ever think to send a message to the stars, if not to thank them, for what happened on their show.

Last night just proved some things to me, from what I can see and have experienced, we in the Western  World don’t know how to deal with death. we are really good at celebrating life – death not so much. It makes us uncomfortable. We don’t know what to say to someone who is dealing with death and bereavement. I now I have read and written about it before. Were all those people angry because of the show plot or because it means that they have to deal with a sentiment that they don’t like. It makes us uncomfortable and means that we have to face the questions about who we are. It means having the tough and lonely nights and it can mean losing connections with people because they don’t understand or don’t want to be around.

I was taught by my parents that death is not the end and in many ways it’s a celebration. I was never not around it – my parents conducted and officiated lots of funerals. I now can testify that until you are in the midst of a close and personal bereavement – you can’t or wont fully understand it, because it is the end of one part but the beginning of a whole new you.

So, I reckon those people watching the TV last night and seeing the processing of Jack’s death aren’t angry because of him leaving, but are angry because they felt emotions they don’t understand. Me – I will see the episode when it appears on Netflix and I will cry like I do for a cheesy tv show, but I will also grieve the people I miss and love and again I shall embrace that moment of longing.



Not Speaking out


Maybe we’ll say “I’m not racist” but today I would like to talk about passive racism. Racism exists because we do not say anything.

What is racism?

One definition is: Each trend, psychological or political likely to rise to theory or be justified by the law, which, based on the alleged superiority of one race over the other or another, encourage or cause social discrimination or even genocide.

In the Bible we read, “There is neither Jew nor  Greek; there is neither slave nor free; there is neither male nor female; because you are all one in Christ Jesus. “Galatians 3:28

In no part of the Bible, we read that God has chosen a person because they come from a special race.

Today, we must think more than ever, that defining people by where they come from is wrong and we cannot remain silent. Passive racism is simply when we do not talk and we remain silent.

Today we look at how to crack racism and the lesson we see in a simple sentence from the Bible.

Being a believer means being present and active in our community and fighting injustice wherever we are. To challenge those around us.

21 years ago before coming to Italy, people were talking about the country of pizza, pasta, ice cream and the Mafia. I can tell you that now I fight saying that Italy is pizza, pasta, ice cream, mafia and much more. Being passive and denying the richness of Italy put me in the shoes of a racist.

Our Bible reading from Acts chapter 10, reminds us that we have to include people, we cannot exclude people from the body because of the nation they represent.

We are called to destroy the walls and barriers that the world constructs and speak out.

Maybe you would say that this is not of the church, but for the politicians, my answer is that it “is for every citizen …” Racism is against the law of the country and also against God.

  • Scripture and Racism or Inclusion
  • My answer

Scripture: Acts 10: 34,35   Then Peter began to speak  he said, “In truth I perceive that God does not show partiality,   35   But in every nation whoever fears him and works righteousness is acceptable.

These two verses are found in the midst of Peter’s speech.  Cornelius undoubtedly had a true faith in the Word of God, as far as he understood, though not yet clear, faith in Christ.    The gentile/judaizing controversy is more about circumcision than baptism and rumbles on through Acts 15 and several passages of Paul. What Peter realises through this encounter is that God is drawing all kinds of people to Himself. Jesus had promised the gospel would go to the ends of the earth in Matt 28. Now fulfilled. But Christianity won’t emerge from being a Jewish sect for a while yet, and both sides will live with the tensions. Peter’s “gentile Pentecost” is foreshadowed by Acts 2 and the giving of the Spirit on all people. It is the great Babel reversal: people who were divided by language when they thought themselves greater than God are united in common understanding when they fall under the Power and influence of the Spirit. The Risen and returned Christ unites all the nations in Rev 7.

Thus, a change in the people of God begins. In Galatians 2: 6, Paul repeats the phrase “…. God has no personal regard” to a people reputed to be converted from pagan religion. To make it understand that racism or favoritism has no place in the kingdom of God and his people. It’s very easy to say, but the message does not belong to us. Paul also repeated the phrase in Romans 2:11. To make sense that the reputation or culture of doing things does not count with God, what counts is experience with God.

In Leviticus 19:15, we see and read, “Do not commit iniquity in judgment; you will not regard the person of the poor, nor will you pay a special honor to the person of the mighty; but you will judge your neighbor with justice “

In racism, poverty often belongs, unfortunately, to a caste. Discrimination, as in India, people coming from various parts of the country are poor and maybe as we are today watching the Roma people. Racism can be influenced by the culture or class of a person.

The boundaries of culture, country or ethnicity cannot deny access to a person to the Kingdom of God. Often, a barrier is placed in front of people not having access to the programs, but through Christ blood on the cross all over the world, the barriers are removed.

Racism is not only in the action we do when we do or say something. Racism is often in silence.

Racism and me:

A personal story; For so many years I grew up with a slight dislike for the people and the country of America. A bit like my dad with the Germans and French after World War II. At some point, I met the Americans, we became friends, I went to America and even celebrated her wedding to her husband. That woman is one of the most important friends for me, she’s like a sister. Knowing her family, I had to ask for forgiveness from God for my silent racism towards Americans. Now God has given me so many American friends and I love them lots.

Ecclesiastes 3: 7 reminds us that there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. Returning to the Galatians 2: 6, people expect us to say something as a leader, and remaining silent our testimony will never bring anyone into the kingdom of God. It does not mean, talk and criticize, but to explain and dialogue with love. as we read, for example, in Ephesians 4:15, but the truth in love, may grow up in every way into him who is the head, even Christ. “  In love by showing the world the work of the devil. As Paul reminds us in the same book to be imitators of God walking  in the light (Ephesians 5: 1).

We need to talk and admit that we are different in the world, Peter denied Jesus three times with the cockerel crowing. Peter knew of the sorrow of Jesus by denying and remaining in silence. The sorrow that we bring to God when we don’t challenge racism is a rotten witness only helping to build barriers in our communities and the world we live in. We should be known as something different. People waited for Peter to be different. In his silence, he did not show himself to be a follower of Jesus, set apart. If we aren’t careful we will resemble the Pharisees, unless we do and say something different. Living the gospel even in uncomfortable moments.


Having the courage to talk about the racism we see every day on TV, in our communities, at school, in the supermarket, we share the hope we have. The hope of 1 Peter 3: 13-15 ” Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats[b]; do not be frightened.”[c] 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. During the story of the Good Samaritan, we see that all of them passed by, but not the Samaritan.  *** The Samaritan, the despised outsider, crosses the divide that the religious professionals are not prepared to cross. ***

Unfortunately, we often go and say nothing but a “Samaritan” will do something. Not speaking we perpetuate an expectation that the world is waiting for. Let’s become the people we are called to be and be active for God and not passive in our actions and words.


Some days, I wonder if I know what I am doing and that’s after 13 years of working with men and women in prostitution and victims of Human Trafficking.

I ask myself the question what did my leaders see in me that I didn’t?

In 1996, I left Italy and was appointed to The Salvation Army project in London to work with people in prostitution. I wondered what their reasoning was (as many before have and I am sure will still, not about me but about their present appointments). I arrived and it was raining and all I know when I arrived was that I was in a place that many wanted. There was a famous saying, “Lord give me any cross but Kings Cross” and this was the other side of peoples thoughts. I was nervous and excited and all of the other emotions you face. I wondered if I would make it through the first week after realising that I had no skill sets I thought appropriate (turned out I did!), but here I was the Centre Manager of an outreach to women in prostitution.

Soon after I invited to a training for managers at a hotel in Milton Keynes hosted by Beyond The Streets and I knew then that I wasn’t alone. I felt a little more confident to talk to agencies and chat to those I met. I didn’t feel so stupid when a woman asked me for help whilst injecting a drug or running away from a client. I knew in that moment I had the opportunity to make a difference and the appointment made some sense.

Cadets (trainee Salvation Army officers) came and helped as did lots of “called” people, some of whom didn’t stay around so long when the calling meant late nights and wet/cold walks with little results; but many bothered and committed to those days and nights when it snowed and rained and we were ignored. I still didn’t feel called to this kind of ministry, but I was beginning to feel like it made sense and I fitted into this little weird world. This was all before it became a fashionable thing to do.

And here I am 13years and few months down the road, feeling “called” to this kind of ministry; feeling I am good at it; have something to offer and I come alive when I get to meet the people to  whom I am appointed to.

I have had the privilege of reaching out to those that the world shuns and the world sees as Victims and I see as Survivors. To those that are classified as unlovable and a commodity.

This is still my privilege and a morning in the office in Rome has reminded me that I am good at this and yes I do feel called to the sacrifice as found in Isaiah 58 (The Voice Translation)

6. No, what I want in a fast is this:
        to liberate those tied down and held back by injustice,
        to lighten the load of those heavily burdened,
        to free the oppressed and shatter every type of oppression.
    A fast for Me involves sharing your food with people who have none,
        giving those who are homeless a space in your home,
    Giving clothes to those who need them, and not neglecting your own family.

Then, oh then, your light will break out like the warm, golden rays of arising sun;
    in an instant, you will be healed.
Your rightness will precede and protect you;
    the glory of the Eternal will follow and defend you.
Then when you do call out, “My God, Where are You?”
    The Eternal One will answer, “I am here, I am here.
If you remove the yoke of oppression from the downtrodden among you,
    stop accusing others, and do away with mean and inflammatory speech,
10 If you make sure that the hungry and oppressed have all that they need,
    then your light will shine in the darkness,
And even your bleakest moments will be bright as a clear day.

Some days it’s easy to get fired up and shout; and some days I feel like that there is a world that doesn’t want to listen.

So my question is: Called or Appointed? Both for me, one lead to the other.

GLP outreach

I Am An Operative Theologian……..

Theology as far as I have always been concerned was something for everyone else, until a few years ago when I was asked to read a paper on The Theology of Prostitution. Yes, there are a few out there. I am intelligent, but not an academic. I read because I want to and not because I have too; well until recently. And then a few years ago, I wanted to be able to speak intelligently when I needed too about the ministry I am involved in and suddenly, I was searching for books. And in May 2014, a book was published and bingo, I had the desire to read and to learn and to soak it up. The book in question is  Stopping The Traffick – You can find out more and buy it here.

This morning I was reading it again, for I think the 3rd time and I came across the following quote.

Practitioners are effective “operative theologians.” They live and work close to human pain and suffering and bring God’s grace to bear on chaotic situations.

(CHAPTER 8 HOW CAN WE SURVIVE IN THE MIDST OF THE MESS? Theological Reflection , by Bill Prevette)

wow – that’s what I am and it makes sense. I am an “operative theologian”. I am someone who understands the need for Theology to sometimes make sense of the ministry I am involved in. You see I am convinced that theology only makes sense when it is grounded in the ministry/work we are involved in practically. There needs to be a balance of both the thought and the practical otherwise all we do is work or think (and there are far too many theorists and people who ‘just do it’ in the world.)

This idea does not just work for the sphere of work I do but for all ministries. Work with the elderly, refugees, addiction services, the homeless, children, youth and churches…………the list is endless. Let’s all be Operative Theologians and know why do what we do. You see together they make sense, separated not all.

I keep learning from this book and I will keep learning.

am i a justice seeker

yesterday on the fabulous The Match Factory – Justice Seekers blog Nick Coke presented some challenges to me and all fellow Justice seekers. Today I decided to take some time to look at them. and ponder upon them a bit.

here are my thoughts.

  1. Present: justice-seekers understand there is no justice to be done from a distance. there are far too many people who stand up and speak and shout from a soap box about the injustices in the world. if we are not present and involved regularly, how can we ever become a voice for the voiceless. Theory is easy but I know that when I sat down with a woman forced into prostitution that I saw a woman and not a statistic. one of my favourite days of the week is Tuesday – it means I will meet the people I write about and read about each day in the office.
  2. Migrants: All are migrants, wanderers through life. JRR Tolkien famously said, “that all who wander are not lost”. I am a migrant of God’s choosing. I am a foreigner in this land and as Scripture says this world. I wander dreaming of a better world. I want to see the end of Human Trafficking and Slavery. I want to walk alongside and talk as Jesus did with people. My home is not based on my location; it based on where God calls me.
  3. Contemplative: justice-seekers know more than anyone that activism is futile without contemplation, prayer and Biblical reflection.  With contemplation the activist fixes their eyes on Jesus – ‘the author and perfecter of our faith’. ah yes, and this is maybe the hardest for me in some ways because it requires me to sit still and read and learn. But it also reminds me of the need to know why I do what I do. The need to step up to the plate and get on with it. The need to “Be Jesus in my community and not just Do Jesus”. The need to not go where Angels fear to tread but to only go where I believe I am called to be. if you go to this blog entry of mine, it was through prayer and contemplation I learnt something: Learning why…… it’s here that I needed to learn when to go forward and when not too.
  4. Prophetic: the justice-seeker has eyes to see an alternative future to the present reality. I have never seen myself as a prophet or prophetic. recently though I have identified in myself the fact that I always seem to search for the gaps in ministry in the place I am and go for that. Looking back I can see it clearly over the last 23 years of ministry. Looking back I realise that actually it may not have seemed prophetic but it probably was.
  5. Kingdom-minded: although never naive of the world as it is, justice-seekers will have a vision of the world as it should be – the kingdom of God established ‘on earth as it is heaven’ here I would like to add the old sentiment, but not “so heavenly minded the individual is of no earthly use” . i want to see the kingdom of God here in my community. I want to see the name of Jesus spoken in faith and praise and not as a swear word. I want to see an upside down world to the one we have now, the one that God saw when all men have enough to eat, to drink. The possibility of education and fairness. i want that we ‘fast’ for the naked to be clothed and the hungry to be fed, the lost to find direction and that each day will be a day of Jubilee.

at this point I would add a no.6 to the list: Crazy & Courageous. For me there is a need for us to be a little bit crazy, to not fit the mold and definitely to be courageous. It is in those moments that we see change and developments. Because the crazy and courageous don’t think of self. They deny themselves and take up their crosses and follow where God leads.

Thanks Match Factory for the provocation of my thoughts and yes I am proud to be a Justice Seeker.

All that’s left to say………goodbye

I’ve questioned

I’ve wondered

I’ve cried

I’ve denied

I’ve moved 

I’ve stayed 

I’ve called 

I’ve listened

And yet it’s in the stillness and silence that these days made sense

And yet it’s in the stillness and silence that I find some peace

There are moments of raw grief

There are episodes of emptiness

Maybe one day I’ll understand

Maybe I never will

Maybe I won’t need to understand 

This isn’t only because of you my friend

This is about all those encounters with loss 

The time spent wondering why

The only true response is there is no answer why

And all I am left with is “goodbye”

©Estelle Blake – 19th August 2015 (3rd edit.)

I’m here to share with you some rare And stimulating insight into my cosmic fabulosity…….I’m beautiful!

so during the month of August, I have decided to share something everyday on my Facebook profile to help me and my friends learn something new about the world we live in. Today, I chose to share about beauty.

Bette Midler is one of the singers I play when I want to go to another world and dream and think and relax and there are several songs that make me smile. here are the lyrics of one of those fabulous songs.

This is the Divine Miss M
And I’m here to share with you some rare
And stimulating insight into my cosmic fabulosity.
It’s really very simple. I simply believe with all my heart: ”

I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, so beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!

“Go away, little girl,” they used to say.
“Hey, you’re too fat, baby, you can’t play.”
“Hold on, miss thing, what you trying to do?
You know you’re too wack to be in our school. ”

Too wack, too smart, too fast, too fine,
Too loud, too tough, too too divine.
I said you don’t belong. You don’t belong.
Too loud, too big, too much to bear,
Too bold, too brash, too prone to swear.
I heard that song for much too long.

Ain’t this my sun? Ain’t this my moon?
Ain’t this my world to be who I choose?
Ain’t this my song? Ain’t this my movie?
Ain’t this my world? I know I can do it.

I’m not too short, I’m not too tall,
I’m not too big, I’m not too small.
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!
I’m not too white, I’m not too black,
I’m not too this, I’m not too that.
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!

I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!

I seriously am beautiful but it took me a long time to get to that place of believing this about myself.

Let me start at the beginning. I am loud and I did that to cover up who I was on the inside: insecure and weird and different and bigger than others. I actually didn’t like being the girl who had to wait whilst her friends went into shops to try on clothes. I didn’t enjoy the reality of people not wanting to sit next to me. I never liked being big, but it became a part of my rebellion to a society that suggested beauty was about a Barbie.

A few years ago Mel and Andrea came into my life and along with Kathy, they would begin to call me out about the comments I made about myself in public. Andrea – told me blatantly that I was to stop the self deprecation I used in my church leadership and in presentations. Every day Mel called me beautiful. She would write me notes that always began “to my beautiful Stelly”. Kathy has known me in so many guises that she sees when the stuff is bad.  So you see after being challenged by these fabulous women, I actually began to believe that I was beautiful. I repeated it every day. I took time to see that when I smile, I shine. I am at peace with the body that is in front of me. This doesn’t mean I don’t want t to improve, it means that I love the person that I see every morning in the mirror. It means that I am a beautiful person.

Yesterday a friend posted on facebook that she was surprised because someone had called her a gorgeous lady. She is stunning. She is such a beautiful person but I can remember those moments. Beauty is Beauty. In some cultures, bigger is better. I have received so many marriage proposals from one ethnicity and yet in my own culture my beauty is often questioned.

I have a book on my bookshelf, “I Hear  A Seed Growing” by Edwina Gateley. In this book she writes something that was part of this self-discovery for me.

Only a few people believe themselves beautiful. That saddens me: it is a diminishment of the human potential for grace and excellence. i would like to help people believe in their infinite potential for beauty – otherwise when we all diminish ourselves we diminish God also. I want to call forth the seeds of beauty God has planted in abundance.”

I realized that I was diminishing the God I believe in and the creation He made in me.  It’s not easy to believe in your own beauty. It’s not easy to look at what is in front and like what you see. It’s not easy to see people everyday not believe in who they are. It’s not easy to say “I am beautiful”. I need people to hear the truths that are out there. You are Beautiful or Handsome and the world will believe it if you do. It’s not about the clothes we wear or the shape of our bodies (and I know I need to work on that but that’s a whole other blog!), it’s about the fact that we are created gorgeous – don’t doubt it. Remember to tell someone today and if you don’t hear it said – repeat it to yourself everyday in front of the mirror until you realize that you are actually gorgeous.

remember what Bette Midler as The Divine Miss M said,

And I’m here to share with you some rare
And stimulating insight into my cosmic fabulosity.
It’s really very simple. I simply believe with all my heart: I’m beautiful “

…. and just maybe it wont be a rare and stimulating insight after a while.